How to Write Meaningful Vows That Actually Sound Like You
- emilyfayefilms
- Apr 21
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 26
Crafting Heartfelt Vows that Elevate Your Wedding Film and Tell Your Real Story
You'd think writing your vows would be the easiest part, right? You know each other. You’ve lived the story. But then the pen hits the page (or let's be honest—the cursor blinks on a blank Google Doc), and suddenly it’s like… where do I even start?
Whether you're the poetic type or someone who avoids journaling like laundry day, writing meaningful vows doesn’t have to feel intimidating. In fact, it can be one of the most beautiful moments of wedding planning—if you give yourself the space to do it right.
Let’s break it down, one honest step at a time—with some insights pulled straight from Emmersen + Ethan’s wedding at The Wright House in Mesa, AZ. Their approach to personal vows? Thoughtful, funny, heartfelt, and perfectly them. And yes—it made their wedding film unforgettable!
Why Vows Matter in Your Wedding Film\
Okay, here’s the truth no one tells you: your wedding film without vows can feel like a pretty music video. And while that might look nice on your feed, it doesn’t feel like you.
Your vows—spoken aloud or whispered during a first look—add texture, emotion, and you-ness to your film. They tell your story in your own voice, which means when you look back years from now, you’re not just watching how the day looked. You’re hearing how it felt.
6 Tips to Write Meaningful Vows
Tip #1: Talk About Vow Length Early
We’ve all seen it—one partner reads a full-blown novel, the other mutters, “You’re my everything. Thanks.” Cue the awkward laughter. Or worse, silent panic.
So here’s your first vow-writing win: get on the same page about length. You don’t have to be word-for-word matched, but it’s a good idea to set an approximate tone and timeframe—especially if you’re sharing them privately before the ceremony.
Tip #2: Start Before You’re in Full-Blown Wedding Week Chaos
The week before your wedding is a blur of relatives, timeline emails, and trying to remember where you stashed the marriage license. Trust me, you don’t want to be writing something this important in between steaming dresses and frantically Googling “how to pin a boutonniere.”
Start your vows at least a month out. Let the words simmer. Tweak them. Read them aloud (more on that later). Give your heart the time to catch up to your pen.
Tip #3: Structure Helps, But Don’t Overthink It
You’re not writing a Shakespearean sonnet, and no, there’s no prize for who cries the hardest. The best vows are the ones that sound like you, not like you hired ChatGPT to ghostwrite your feelings (I see you!).
Here’s a structure I’ve seen work beautifully:
A favorite memory or defining moment
Why you love them—specifically
Your actual promises (this is the “vow” part, after all)
A nod to the future—what you’re looking forward to
You can totally break the rules. Just... maybe don’t wing it entirely.
Tip #4: Be Sentimental and Be Yourself
Do you two laugh constantly? Add a little humor or an inside joke. Is your relationship full of quiet, grounding tenderness? Let that stillness come through.
You don’t need to sound like anyone else. Emmersen + Ethan nailed this—balancing deep love with lighthearted realness that made everyone (including me) tear up behind the camera.
Tip #5: Practice Reading Them Out Loud
You don’t need to memorize them (this isn’t high school theater), but you do want to know how they’ll feel coming out of your mouth.
Reading them out loud helps you:
Spot any overly formal or awkward phrases
Catch where you might trip up on delivery
Make sure it sounds like you
Consider reading them to a friend or into a voice memo. Yes, it feels weird. But it works.
Tip #6: Don’t Read From Your Phone
This one’s a little thing that makes a huge difference visually—especially in your film.
Use a vow book. Or at least write your vows neatly on a nice piece of paper. Trust me, the vibe shift when someone pulls out a phone with 3% battery left? Not ideal.
Bonus: Not Ready to Read Them During the Ceremony?
Totally fine. A lot of couples (like Emmersen + Ethan) choose to read their personal vows privately—during a first look or first touch. Then they go with traditional vows during the ceremony.
This creates space for intimacy and still gives you that powerful audio for your film. It’s the best of both worlds.
Your Vows Are a Gift to Future You
One day, life will get chaotic. Maybe you'll be knee-deep in raising kids or traveling the world, or renovating your third fixer-upper. You’ll hit milestones and maybe even a few hard seasons.
And in those moments, hearing yourself say, “I promise to choose you—over and over again,” isn’t just romantic. It’s grounding. It brings you back to who you were on that day, standing there, teary-eyed and sure.
Writing meaningful vows isn’t about performing. It’s about being honest and vulnerable and choosing to tell your story in your voice.
So take a deep breath, start scribbling, and remember—you don’t need to be a writer. You just need to be real.
Because that’s what lasts.
Vendors that helped bring Emmersen + Ethan’s day to life:
Venue: The Wright House
Photographer: Candace Shiflet Photography
Florals: Flowers by Ellen
If you found this helpful and want to chat more about creating a wedding film that feels uniquely you, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s connect.
Head to my Pinterest for more nontraditional wedding ideas in Arizona and beyond!
Arizona Wedding Videographer for Nontraditional Couples | Emily Faye Films
Whether you're dreaming of a wedding day that feels effortlessly to you, filled with real, unscripted moments, or you want a film that transports you back to the way it felt, you deserve more than a standard wedding video. You deserve a wedding videography experience that’s as authentic and timeless as your love story. That’s exactly what I’m here to create. Let’s capture the moments that matter most, without the awkward posing or forced emotions. Ready to relive your day, exactly as it happened? Let’s make it happen! Get in touch, here!
If you loved this blog, you’ll definitely want to read this blog about speech tips!
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